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I AM MAD as HELL ~ A MUST Read Report: How To FIX eBay!!!

colderice
Written by John Comments
Last Updated March 16, 2009

This was written by me just for Catharsis. The term catharsis is defined as…sudden emotional climax that evokes overwhelming feelings of great sorrow, pity, anger, laughter or any other extreme change in emotion, resulting in restoration. There was some debate internally about weather I should publish it. But if you know anything about me, or have followed my blogging and Tweets, you know what an ICEism is…Consider this my ICEism blog post. :-)

image thumb31 I AM MAD as HELL ~ A MUST Read Report: How To FIX eBay!!! Earlier this week eBay had their Analyst Day “parade”. I have been going through the 5 hours of fluff and puffiness. What started out last year as a concentrated effort to destroy the eBay marketplace by John Donhoe, Lorrie Norrington and Stephanie Tenalius is working PERFECTLY.

Sales? DOWN, Volume? DOWN, GMV? DOWN, New Registered Users? DOWN. John Donahoe is batting 1000% and everything he has done to kill eBay is really working, congratulations guys. What it took 5 years for Bill Cobb and Meg Whitman to do, these geniuses have eroded in just 6 months!

image thumb32 I AM MAD as HELL ~ A MUST Read Report: How To FIX eBay!!!

Wow!!! HOLY CRAP, I am amazed at the skills and talents this executive team possesses. I mean that too…This is NOT tongue and cheek, you have to be skilled at ripping apart the flesh and blood to suck the out the bone marrow so effectively. Not since the fictional writings of Count Dracula have I witnessed the sucking of living tissue to feed the dead.

3225875856 b28f523507 I AM MAD as HELL ~ A MUST Read Report: How To FIX eBay!!! I thought the collapse of the economy taught us all something?!? I guess not these guys, they still support the claim that this Frankenstein monster of a platform that they have crafted is going to work…just give us a few more bodies to feed on for the next 3 years and it it all live again? Yes, we (eBay) will continue to put sellers out of business…Yes, we will continue to piss off our buyers…and MOST importantly, we will ignore ANY symbolic suggestion of common sense.

image thumb33 I AM MAD as HELL ~ A MUST Read Report: How To FIX eBay!!! THAT my friends is why I personally must say… “I am MAD AS HELL, and I am NOT going to take it anymore!!!”

So what, I am just 1 of about 150 million users of eBay and so what. So what if I am mad, it really does not matter to John, Lorrie, Stephanie, Denish. They have IVORY palaces, private JETS and a crack staff of graphic designers (see pic to the right) … LMAO

image thumb34 I AM MAD as HELL ~ A MUST Read Report: How To FIX eBay!!! So what am I mad about? Well I am mad that eBay STILL thinks their plan is “working” and they want to continue working it until 2011. They want to keep working it unabated, un apologetically, and un interrupted. Come HELL or high water, this “MOSTER eBay” will not be stopped. They will not stop until they put every independent seller on the growing bread lines of America to feed the “Monster eBay” beast.

At one time, eBay was MAKING people self sufficient, small business were growing thanks to eBay.  eBay was once an asset to the jobless, the single moms, the handicap, NOPE…”screw those losers” right-on Lorrie Norrinton, eh?!? Today in 2009 eBay has SWORN to make sure that they will do their part to INCREASE homelessness, poverty, and hyper unemployment. eBay this week have promised Americans, that we will make sure YOU CAN’t SELL your stuff on eBay anymore when you need some rent money. Nope, eBay is NOT for you guys!

Hell no, eBay has said that they want to make sure the YOU and me, “Joe America” & “Suzy Six-Pack”, need to do your trading elsewhere, they are on a mission. As for you and I?…basically, if you are an independent sellers “Go to HELL! We DO NOT WANT YOUR BUSINESS, thanks but no thanks.”

image thumb35 I AM MAD as HELL ~ A MUST Read Report: How To FIX eBay!!! I hear you eBay. You have every right to do as you see fit since the investors are so happy with your leadership. But that does NOT mean that I have swallow the nonsense.

I am just one guy, and I have no power. So to help release my pent up frustrations, I called up a smart guy last week. His name is Scot Wingo, the CEO of ChannelAdvisor and I asked him some questions. Scot is NOT as emotional as me, and he would NEVER write a flaming rant like this, LMAO.

But let me get serious for a second…Scot Wingo spoke to the listeners of ColderICE LIVE on Tuesday March 10, 2009 which was 1 day before the eBay announcements. What he said to outline the troubles facing eBay and the solution he came up with just seemed to make sense. Juxtapose that with the drivel I heard from eBay executives on Wednesday and I just got emotional.

My emotion lead me to have the call transcribed and make it available so YOU guys can read it and hopefully pass it around. Tell your friends to read it and pass it around, send it via email, or just post the link in your blog or what ever. I do not care how or what you do with it, just pass it around!

This is submitted under the creative commons license. Put it in your blog, print it out and give it away, use it anyway you can to get this message out. THAT is what I decided to do with my anger. I decided to not sit in chat rooms and bitch, I decided to publish a report! Can you help me spread the word? Are you mad too?

Picture2

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image5 Can eBay Be SAVED? Scot Wingo of ChannelAdvisor SPEAKS to ColderICE

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How to Fix eBay by John Lawson is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 United States License.  Based on a work at www.ColderICE.com.

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  • beautifulmindless
    Just letting you all know how much I appreciate your posts, and the fact that I found you though google:)
  • Re: "the jobless, the single moms, the handicap(sic)"

    The mantra of Business is that they have an obligation TO THE SHAREHOLDERS, so unless the previously mentioned own stock...

    Speaking of which, the value of the eBay stock is down and we will see what sort of dividend (if any) is issued.

    May you live in interesting times...
  • Rich
    Love your blog and presentation style John.

    Been putting eBay on the back burner for a year now waiting for the nimbies to get something resembling a plan cobbled together that I could live with.

    It's hopeless.
  • Let me get this right Musk...eBay can CHANGE direction but I can't change my opinion? What a GENIUS mode of thinking?!?

    Thanks "genius" you are right, I should NEVER formulate new ideas based on new information. Why didn't I think of that?

    john
  • MUSK
    LAST I HERD FROM VANELLA ICE YOU WAS LOVING EBAY IN YOUR YOUTUBE WERE NOT GANNA TAKE IT
  • Xebayseller1999
  • I've been feeling that emotion for some time, finally came to a boiling point for me with the last change to My Ebay page, ebay took my ability to run my business effciently away, adapt to change? Well there is only so much contortioning I can do - so I am taking a well deserved break from ebay at the moment, it's been hard financially but emotionally I am much less stressed and have more time to spend with my children!!
  • Lisa
    I go on rants about Ebay too, but there's really nothing sellers can do except leave. At this point, I think it's a waiting game for Donahoe and his crew to get fired and then hopefully someone sane will take over and restore Ebay to some semblance of it's former self. At least you have a nice looking website, John. That's my next goal.
  • VonAnonymous
    I am on the opposite end of the spectrum, rather believing people should just leave ebay. that it is well beyond all repair. I think the term is FUBAR. Yet, this is one of the best ebay related reads in quite some time. Still shaking my head in disbelief at the contents and concepts of the analyst day event. What do they do for an encore I wonder? ROFLOL. Thanks ColderICE.
  • searlesmike
    Great content - only issue I have relates to delivery. Generally, I and my ilk read and digest info like this on the go - in front of our machines, we tend to be all-work-and-no-learn. Throwing this out via twit & fbook makes me think I can click through and read it. Adding the "Download here" step means I can't do so via my mobile - at least not easily. Just a thought - keep burning, though, sir! Lovin it!
  • The current direction eBay is taking AND the results are exactly what the current board wants.

    Consider the composition of the eBay Board of Directors.
    http://investing.businessweek.com/businessweek/...

    Two voting blocks (can) control eBay INC, eBay stock holders and "The Bridgespan Group."

    With ZERO dividends given to investors, the eBay officers manage to constantly siphon off cash in the form of stock options or stock sales.

    And what of the Bridgespan Group?
    http://investing.businessweek.com/businessweek/...
    The Bridgespan Group operates as a subsidiary of Bain & Company, Inc.

    Historically Bain & Company, Inc excises maximal amounts of cash and credit from companies invested in, as well as buy other Bain investment companies. Then they sell what's left.

    It's may be obvious now that Bain associates like John Donahoe and the many who run eBay, take these teachings to heart.

    Your "ripping apart the flesh and blood to suck the out the bone marrow" metaphor is more apropo than you might imagine.

    Once the last remaining store of eBay cash is depleted ("sucked out"?), about 3-4 billion dollars in European banks, we should see the eBay Board's end game.

    Should take about, oh 3 years.


    "Don't you know what's goin' on out there?"
    Ben, Night of the Living Dead (1968)
  • John
    Dude, if we were graded by spelling and grammer on the web... they would have shut this blog down ages ago. LMBO
  • Bob
    Spelling and grammar typos courtesy of left and right brains fighting they are Mad as Hell also !
  • Bob
    Amazon showed NO profit until they embraced 3rd party sellers . they put controls in at a cost to make it work. No we are just a venue bull. Now after failing at Amazonianation
    ebay it is now going to be Overbiglots warrehouse . Maybe a day-old-bread store is coming soon. Will people who buy last years merchandise buy it with higher delivery cost? the ebay management thinks they will and charge it also via pay pal.

    ebay are not retailers. Are they merchandise liquidators? How do become the market king of a something they know nothing of?

    I heard the interview and some good points but ebay is driving a different bus.
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